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The next day, late afternoon.
Jacinto is standing on the entrance to the empty parking lot of the Davidson County Transportation, looking at the post-work traffic on the road while not actually looking at any of it beyond seeing if particular jeep is coming towards him.
Something good about very strictly scheduled official business, is that 4pm means very extremely closed, fuck off please. It's not more than twenty past it, but Jacinto is alone on the lot, even his coworkers vacating the premises as soon as they are able. Like he would normally do.
Other than a coworker asking if he needs a ride, which was settled with a 'carpooling with a friend' and a nod, thankfully no one even really cares. Jacinto is not close to his coworkers and considering recent events, prefers to keep it that way. He's fine looking like a boring nobody to the people he works with.
Besides, that now means that he can save all the color in his life for someone fairly special.
Rowan got out around the same time, his office hours a little more 'work whenever as long as you finish everything', giving him a little more wiggle room for when he gets in and out of the office.
To that end, he tried to slip out of the office a little earlier, so he wouldn't get stuck in traffic. At least, not stuck in traffic until after he had already picked up Jac'.
Perhaps he's just a little eager to see Jac' again, but soon enough his Jeep takes the offramp, and can be spotted approaching.
Jacinto feels his heart race just a tiny bit when he finally sees the familiar Jeep. Not that he has spent most of the day more texting with the driver of said vehicle than doing work, or anything. Certainly did not avoid coworkers on coffee breaks, who would do that?
Rowan relaxes as he spots Jac', and quickly pulls up to the curb, not bothering to park in the otherwise empty lot. He waves to Jac', unlocking the door.
Jacinto opens the door with a smile: "I don't know about you, but I wasn't sure if today would end at all." He climbs in, and as they are in the empty parking lot, leans over to give Rowan a kiss on the cheek.
Rowan laughs, blushing at the kiss, having been somewhat uncertani how or if they should express their relationship at all outside of Jac's home. "I uh, yeah, no kidding. The text thread kept me going though. Was your day really as boring as it all sounded?"
Jacinto nods: "About the same as always, just... you know, kinda felt longer today." He smiles at his boyfriend: "You probably know why."
Rowan nods, reaching over to squeeze Jac's hand before taking the jeep out of park to get back on the road. "Because the whole day was spent thinking about... us and all of everything else from the past week?"
Jacinto hums, then nods with a smirk: "Yeah. That about sums it up." He looks out the window for a second before continuing: "...I don't even know where to begin."
Rowan hums, thinking a moment. "I do... with 'I love you'. After that, though... there's... a lot. I'm just glad I'm with you again right now though."
Jacinto smiles with a bit of a blush: "...okay, you got me there. And, yeah... we can hash out things as we go I guess. Not like we are in a hurry... right?"
Rowan chuckles, "Not with the traffic on the way home, no. At last once we're off the highway, your house is pretty remote. But until then, just buckle up and enjoy the ride."
He turns the volume down on the radio he'd been listening too, navigating his way back to the interstate. "I... really just can't stop thinking about everything that happened this weekend."
Jacinto gives a soft sigh: "Yeah, me neither. There's a whole new us, and... we can't really share it around, much as I'd want to yell from the rooftops how much I care for you."
Rowan hums, "I uh, not sure I really want you to do that anyways, but I get it. If I could, I would do the same about you."
Jacinto blushes: "Figure of speech, uh, love." He gives Rowan a more warm, genuine smile instead: "Even the... me and you part of it aside... I'm not genuinely sure we could convince anyone outside of furs who already know, about the... furselves side of things."
Rowan shrugs, blushing, "I uh, knew that. Really I did. You're right though... around here, the relationship stuff is hard enough for folks to accept, let alone the rest of this. The furselves and the feminine nature and all."
Jacinto nods: "Yeah... I'm not even done figuring out what the hell I am when I am very obviously feminine when I am Cindi." He considers for a second: "...much as some part of me would like to deny, say that it's still 'just a costume', I vividly remember having breasts no darn costume in the history of anything ever could fake."
Rowan falls silent a moment, pursing his lips in thought, "Y-yeah... me too... I keep thinking about that too..."
Jacinto blinks, but then just nods: "It's real. It's as real as anything else in our lives, and..." He looks at Rowan thoughtfully: "...guess the question is, what do we do with that realness?"
Rowan laughs quietly, "I... have no idea. I wish I had any clue. I can't just always be in fur, obviously... but..."
Jacinto nods: "Yeah. We can't. And... it's a bit strange to have that desire to do that, isn't it? This is nothing like what I felt about just having a fursuit. Sure, I was excited for every con, building Cindi up to perfection, but..." He trails off, uncertain as he looks out the window.
Rowan nods, "Yeah, it was a performance. It was always fun. But it was always... just a weekend escape, right? I never wanted to come home and put the fursuit on at night just to be that character..."
Jacinto nods, then hesitates for a brief second: "But now... you do?" It may or may not be obvious which answer Jacinto is hoping for, here.
Rowan sighs, going quiet again for a moment. Somehow he still feels like something is wrong with him for admitting this, "I... y-yeah. I think if I'd brought Akari home with me last night, I would have put the suit on again."
Jacinto swallows. "Y-yeah... huh. I..." He is quiet for a second before continuing: "...I didn't put Cindi on again, but I must admit the temptation was there. To just... explore." Pause. "Be."
Rowan spares a moment to glance at Jac' when the traffic slows. "Same with me. I... admit, I sorta wanted to leave Akari at your house so I wouldn't be tempted. Out of sight, out of mind."
He swallows, "Except it was sort of all I could think about anyways last night."
Jacinto nods: "Yeah. P-pretty much that. I... I am almost afraid to admit, but there is a side of me that wants nothing more than get in fur and hug and snuggle the heck out of you."
Rowan smiles at the image of that, feeling warm just hearing Jac's words, "That's... that's a pretty big side in me too. I feel like... like I should feel like that's wrong somehow. I shouldn't want that. But, I don't know."
He shakes his head, "I'm unsure about it all... but I really can't bring myself to feel guilty about those feelings... uncertain and awkward and I don't even know, but not guilty."
Jacinto swallows, but nods all the same. "Y-yeah. We're doing this in secret, but not... not because of shame. I think. Just... people suck, and there's no reason or even way to share this with them."
Rowan nods, his smile growing a little more confident, "Yeah. And I'll tell you this Jac', fur or not, the second we're back to your place, you're getting hugged. And probably snuggled too."
Jacinto smiles: "I like that. I like... you, a lot of you, in fact."
Rowan hums, "The fact that I love you isn't tied to those other feelings, I can say that much... I don't understand a lot of this, but, male or female... it's you I want."
Jacinto nods: "Y-yeah... that much is certain." He blinks, a thought occurring: "...I wonder, and while I am pretty sure of the answer... I want to know anyway." He looks at Rowan: "...do we have the same chemistry when just one of us is in-fur?"
Rowan blinks, picturing Cindi, "I... would think so? I wouldn't mind trying and finding out."
Jacinto nods: "Yeah... me too. Just... curious, I guess. How it feels." He gives a bit of a blushing smile at his partner.
Rowan laughs, glancing at Jac', "The real question is, who changes and who stays like this, hm? I'm okay with either, to be honest, but we can figure that out after some dinner?"
Jacinto nods: "Let's start with dinner. I'm starving and I don't need any, er, changes to further exacerbate that."
Rowan hums a moment, then laughs, "Guess we do tend to get a bit hungry in fur, hm? Well, hungrier than normal. I'm... equally into the idea of snuggling with Cindi, as I am with Akari snuggling you." He blushes a bit, then giggles, "That might be a good sign."
Jacinto nods with a blushing smile: "...yeah... that might just be one. I do want to... all that, I think. For, uh, curiosity." He pauses for a second, before continuing: "...and snuggling."
Rowan giggles, "And snuggling, of course. All for science, right?"
Jacinto nods, the blush not going anywhere: "...yeah. Science is important."
Rowan nods, his attention back to the road as traffic starts moving again, "It is. I... I don't really have any answers otherwise. We just need to stick together and keep trying things to figure out... something. I'm not really sure of that either."
Jacinto nods, satisfied with that for the moment. "Pretty much. Try stuff, see what works, and what doesn't..." He looks at Rowan with a smile. "We work, anyway, so I am not worried."
Rowan smiles back just a moment before turning his attention to the road, "We do. I can't pretend to understand what all the emotions around Akari and our furselves and... and being female... I have no clue where any of that is going to lead."
Jacinto shakes his head: "Yeah, me neither. For the moment, I'm just... okay with the fact that when I am in fur, I am pretty much 'fem in all ways that matter, and just dealing with that." He swallows, obvious that his 'dealing' is still well underway.
Rowan: "Yeah... y-yeah. That's a good way to think of it. I just wish I knew if I should be afraid or... just embrace it."
Rowan pauses a moment, tapping his hands on the wheel. "There's a voice in my head that says I should just embrace those feelings. But... I'm still scared to listen."
Jacinto looks up at his friend: "...what do you mean, 'embrace'?"
Rowan lets out a sigh, "Well... same as you, right? Those... feminine feelings and emotions in Akari. And it's just so much when we're in fur, it feels like such a relief to just be her and be that."
He swallows, "And then I take it off and I'm back to being Rowan, and I have to push all those things back down... But there's still that voice saying... just... be that and do that. You know? In fur or not..."
Jacinto pauses for a long second. Perhaps touch too long.
"I... maybe. I do want be... Cindi again, fur and all..." He trails off, uncertain what he can say.
Rowan glances at Jac', not really having considered that things might be very different in their experiences. "I... yeah. I just want to be Akari again." That's probably all it is, he tells himself.
Jacinto looks at Rowan, then just nods. "Well... we will certainly get that part, again, when we get home."
Rowan nods as well, for the moment staying quiet to focus on driving. Soon enough, he's taking the exit to head towards Jac's house. "Sorry... it's... still a lot sometimes..."
Jacinto nods, equally lost in his own thoughts. "Yeah. It is." His mind keeps whirring, but for the moment no complete thought really comes out.
Rowan nods, letting himself focus on the driving as he tries not to get lost in thought as well, the awkward silence lingering on until they return to Jac's Home.
Jacinto finally speaks again when they arrive. "Not the worstest drive. Though I guess it's Monday and not Friday." He offers Rowan a smile: "Thank you."
Rowan shuts down the car and turns to smile at Rowan, "Hopefully everything bad was because of the traffic and not the driver. I should thank you for keeping me company."
Jacinto chuckles softly, then sticks his tongue out: "No, definitely the driver."
Rowan gives Jac' a sad shrug that would be devastating coming from Akari, "I've failed you. I'll have to try harder to get us through traffic faster next time."
Jacinto smirks: "Too bad that it's my drive tomorrow so you won't get that chance just yet." He leans over to kiss his boyfriend. "Silly thing."
Rowan leans in to meet the kiss in turn, "Ahh, so bad that you have to take over? I understand." He grins wide, feeling the relief wash over him that he can just express his feelings openly towards Jac' now. "I do try, just a bit."
Jacinto smiles warmly: "That's what I love about you. Your optimism knows no bounds." He winks as he moves to unbuckle himself: "Or is that Akari's optimism?"
Rowan giggles, "I think the answer you're looking for is 'Yes'." He unbuckles as well, getting out of the jeep and walking around the front to meet Jac' with a hug.
Jacinto meets the hug with enthusiasm: "Mmm! Wanted to do this all day~."
Rowan laughs aloud, hugging tight, "Mmm, me too! Pretty much since we let go this morning."
Jacinto laughs, then lets go of the hug but not before giving Rowan another kiss. "Pretty much." He considers: "Is this what people mean when you're so much in love you can't think of anything else?"
Rowan nods, "I guess so... I uh, I've heard that when you can't stop thinking of someone when you're together it's lust... and when you can't stop thinking of them when you're apart, it's love. Though, uh, I'm sure part of it is just how 'new' this all is to both of us."
Jacinto hums: "As opposed to the first time we tried and ended up being too young and lacking in fluff, so to say." He shakes his head in amusement as he walks to the door, though gives Rowan a wink as he fishes up his keys.
Rowan follows just behind, chuckling with a bit of embarrassment, "I uh, was pretty immature, and still not terribly certain with what I wanted in life..." He blushes, "And you were hot. I thought I was in love. But you were right."
Jacinto winks: "I was hot? But now I'm just lukewarm I guess."
Rowan pouts again, "Oh, now you're just being mean." He steps closer to take Jac's hand and lean in for another kiss, "You're still as hot as ever, love."
Jacinto smiles into the kiss: "Mm, guess I will have to live with that. You're hotter now than you were back then, I'm pretty sure, though."
Rowan chuckles, "Meaning I wasn't hot at all then? I mean, I can live with that too, I guess..." He's not quite as good at that kind of teasing.
Jacinto mm's: "Just means we're both objectively hot now, especially in fur. Rather literally, even." He opens the door and holds it for Rowan: "After you."
Rowan giggles, bowing in response before stepping through first, "That's also true... though it's not nearly as sweaty as it used to be, which feels like a huge upgrade too."
Jacinto nods as he follows in, closing the door after: "There is definitely that. We get to have a shower more because we enjoy it and less because we're drowning in sweat no matter how many cooling systems we have on..." He gives Rowan a gaze that says volumes about his appreciation of said showers so far.
Rowan blushes under Jac's smoldering look, "You're not wrong there either. Usually the shower at the end of a day of suiting is more to make me feel human again..."
He pauses, having meant that as a figure of speech, but now, he ends up laughing, "I uh, yes I see the irony of that now."
Jacinto laughs as he hefts his bag onto the couch: "Just a tiny bit of it. Reject humanity, accept soft fluffiness. I certainly see now why certain platypus mentor figure mentioned wanting to take every chance for being in fur."
Rowan nods, "Yeah, they weren't wrong... we uh, should probably stick our heads into the discord group too at some point. I've not exactly looked in on it since I joined."
He swallows, "Unsure if I uh... 'reject' humanity... though... maybe if I could actually be Akari full time and make a living, I guess I might?"
Jacinto considers that, glancing between his boyfriend and said boyfriend's innocent-looking fursuit resting nearby: "Joking, mostly. We both know we gotta make this work with both sides."
Rowan blinks, then laughs, "Ah uh, joking. Right. Right, yeah... we really need... balance."
Jacinto gives Rowan a look: "Whatever that ends up meaning for us, yeah." He hums: "...while I want to be in fur tonight yet... I think I want to share that shower with you without, this time."
Rowan nods, finding himself somewhat surprised at how excited he feels at that idea, "I... would like that too, honestly. Dinner, then a shower. Then, if we want to, one of us can suit up to see how things go with that?"
Jacinto nods: "We can do something along those lines. Just have a few hours, but I want to stick by your side for those few hours."
Rowan grins, wrapping an arm around Jac's waist. "I think no matter what the plan ends up being, that's a given."
Jacinto smiles, lifting an arm to Rowan's shoulder: "Just making sure~."
Rowan pulls Jac' closer to kiss him deeply, "I've had you on my mind all day. I'm not going to waste the time we have together."
Jacinto kisses back, closing his eyes for a second. When he eventually lets go: "Mmm... good thing neither dinner or shower are waste of time, then."
Rowan pulls back but keeps hold of Jac's hand. "With you? Never. I would never say that dinner is a waste of time."
Jacinto smirks: "Even when it's the leftover tacos I planned to eat on my own before this?"
Rowan giggles, "Are you sure you're Jacinto? Implying tacos are a waste? I should check to see if you have a fever."
Jacinto laughs: "Touché, love." He smiles, finally letting go of Rowan's hand to head towards the kitchen: "Touché."
Rowan reluctantly lets go, but eagerly follows into the kitchen to aid in dinner set-up and consumption.
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