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Meanwhile, In the Conference Room.

Cindi was standing near the buffet table, after finally having a lull in the string of introductions, hugs, and 'welcomes' she's gotten from most of the furs present. Not that she minded this, and the hug from the metalhead panda was especially so strong some part of her wondered where she could get more of that kind.

Currently holding a soda and just happily smirking into it, she watches the party with no particular aim in mind, just being incredibly happy at having discovered 'her own kind' in a way she never would have thought to locate in a billion years.

Her smirk doubles in mirth as she notices Akari coming from the patio, deep in discussion with whoever she located earlier (or more likely, who located Akari)... and just giving a small wave to her girlfriend. Some part of Cindi is really happy to see Akari open up. She makes a mental note that these meets seem to be really good for both of them.

She then also makes a mental note that whatever the brand of chips they got into this, she has to go find them.

As most of the group either seems to get over its initial excitement over the newcomers, or changing their attention to meet Akari, a purple bat approaches Cindi.

Their suit has big paws with wings draped down from them to their side and a tail ending in a heart-shaped spade. Big rounded ears sit atop their head, and a big poof of thick fluff surrounds her neck like a travel pillow. She chuckles as he reaches to the snack table to grab a pear from the bowl of fruit.

"Sorry if it gets a bit overwhelming. But you seem to be handling things pretty well. And looks like Quinn has done her thing." She motions towards the raccoon who is now introducing Akari to the others.

Cindi blinks at the bat, then smirks: "Yeah. Guess you guys don't get new people that often." The puppy-moth is fairly relaxed at the moment, then falling to a familiar and accepted compliment among this particular group of furs: "...dang, pretty nice design on your.... fur, I guess. 'Suit' isn't quite true, is it, anymore."

The bat lifts her arms to show off her wings, then gives a little bow, "Thank you. And yes, it's certainly a little weird still, but you have to take some pride in our furs, even when sometimes it feels like it's not your handiwork anymore, but a part of you."

She rises up from her bow to extend her hand to Cindi, "Matilda, at your service."

Cindi takes the hand with a smile: "Cindi. Happy to meet you." She chuckles. "Sorry if I sound like a borked record saying that by now."

Matilda laughs, "Oh, I'm sure. You are absolutely right about the 'not many new people'. It's not unheard of, but rare enough that everyone has been pretty eager to meet you and your friend since you signed up for the meet-up. This is me trying to be chill and approach you casually." She grins wide, little fangs poking out from her smile.

Cindi grins, her own smaller canines showing: "Fair enough. And I don't mind, really been kind of itching to meet others like us since Anthrocon."

Matilda giggles at Cindi's matching smile, "Your fur is really cute as well you know. But I think you'll find most everyone here feels the same. It's hard to have all this and not want to talk about it to everyone you meet."

Cindi nods, glancing around: "Really, yeah, I can see that. It's pretty much everything that's been on my mind for last two weeks." She gives Akari a small peek. Almost everything.

Matilda takes a bite out of the pear, "Suiting was a passion for everyone here, I can safely say, even if we all came from different walks of life. This kind of thing can pretty easily take up everything in your brain, especially at first."

Cindi nods with a grin: "Yeah... no kidding. Changing kinda everything." She is quiet for a second, thinking of another thing that's certainly changed, but no words to articulate it that she wants to actually voice.

Matilda nods, "When I first changed, I pretty much spent a week at work doing nothing but staring out the window thinking about getting back in fur. Been almost two years now for me. I can tell you it doesn't really go away, but these meet-ups really help."

Cindi nods, leaning onto a wall behind her: "Yeah... it's pretty hard to be whenever I can not be Cindi... that is, be in fur... it's so tempting that really one almost thinks it's some kind drug or hallucination..."

Matilda sighs, turning to look back out at the group a moment, before looking back at Cindi, "Yeah, that's certainly a feeling more than a few of us have had. It's not exactly 'addictive'... but it is euphoric. Some folks feel it more than others, but I think we all feel more 'ourselves' when in fur than not."

Cindi nods, thinking for a second. "Me and Akari, we coined it 'furselves', and... yeah, seems like that's what it is. Just being more comfortable in fur than out of it, which... obviously clashes with this thing called 'Real Life' something fierce."

Matilda chuckles, "Furselves, eh? Well, I can say this... and I won't pry, but it's honestly not any different than it was before the changes. Obviously, 'Real Life' really isn't any different than it was before."

She crosses her arms, "Speaking from experience, the real difference is probably just that you're happier now than you were. I would guess that happiness is in part that you can be yourself when you're in fur. There's a degree of self-expression here that I could never dream of before, let alone actually showing off at work."

Cindi pauses, swallows, then nods: "...y-yeah... you're not wrong. I feel more... active, more social, more outgoing, as Cindi. So does that mean... that that's what I want to be? From what I read on the topic, that's how it seems to be."

Matilda shrugs slightly, with an apologetic smile, "Like I said, I won't presume to know you, but... we've got all types here, but most everyone suits up to be someone else. No one here that I know made their character someone they like less than their selves in real life. Finding a way to balance that can be hard... especially if the differences are extreme."

Cindi nods slowly. "Makes sense. When you make a suit, you're envisioning big things. Not just visually, and physically, but... personality-wise." She looks at Matilda: "I've wondered how much the magic plays into this."

Matilda glances down at the pear in her hand, "That I can't help you with. I know there's some folks in the chat who say they're 'working on understanding the magic', but feels a bit impossible to me."

She hums, "Personally... I don't think the magic can do anything to us that we don't want it to."

Cindi considers on her experiences before speaking again. "I... maybe. The more I suit, get in fur... yeah, the more I feel like it's really all me." She winces and her voice drops lower. "...which in turn scares me a bit."

Matilda's snout scrunches a bit, and she steps closer to put a paw on Cindi's back. "That's a valid fear, honestly. I struggled a bit with that too after I first got the gift. Matilda and who I am out of fur are two very different people, and it felt more like a costume when I took her off than it did when I put the headpiece on."

She shakes her head, "Eventually sorta had to reconcile that... they say we all put on masks when we go to work, you're a different person to your coworkers than you are with family, than you are with friends. Ultimately I had to figure out that Matilda is just another face of me."

Cindi nods, though there is a slight wince in her expression: "I... Yeah, Cindi is me, I've pretty much had to make a mantra out of that."

She sighs. "Which really is the problem. I..." She trails off, not really wanting to 'fess up certain details.

Matilda pats Cindi's shoulder, "Hey, don't force it... the best part of meet-ups like this is we all have a built in support group, but don't feel like you have to share anything." She laughs quietly, "None of us are therapists... I think. Actually, a few of us might be..."

Cindi giggles nervously: "Yeah. I work at a darn DMV, I'm certainly way out of my depth."

Matilda glances around, then leans in with a lowered voice, "I'm a State Senatorial Aide. But uh, I won't say for who."

Cindi smiles: "Heh. Fair. But you do have a point... Maybe the fur is just another mask we wear, just quite a bit more literally than it was before."

"I enjoy being Cindi, but... I can't have my life revolve entirely around that."

Matilda nods, "It's part of us, but it isn't the real us. The real us is all parts of us, every mask and every part, good and bad. Our 'furselves' just get to let us express some part that is a little more vulnerable. I think that's why it feels so scary sometimes."

Cindi nods, taking a sip of her soda as she thinks. "One heck of a 'gift' to sort out, isn't it."

Matilda turns to lean against the wall besides Cindi, taking another bite of her pear, "Oh, definitely. Whatever spirit or magic or whatever is behind all this doesn't seem to care about how much this complicates life. The ability to change into someone and something else entirely."

Cindi continues the sentiment: "... But not really being able to be that someone else except in somewhat rare circumstances. You mentioned before feeling like being out of fur is the costume, and it makes me feel so confused because a part of me agrees."

She gives a dry chuckle. "Probably the furry part."

Matilda chuckles along, "Everyone here has a different experience with being in fur and out, but safe to say we've all got that furry part in the back of our head."

Cindi nods. "Seems so. The furry package comes with a narrator, even if that narrator is also yourself."

She considers for a moment before continuing, glancing at Matilda. "Did you ever have that feeling like... Like you shouldn't be in fur again, that it feels like it's wrong to enjoy being like this?"

Matilda hums, "Yeah... a few months after I first got the gift. I was really stressed at work, having some relationship trouble with my girlfriend at the time, and she didn't know anything about this. And I'd get home and suit up every day. And started to realize I was just escaping my problems without dealing with them."

She pats her chest, "I think once I realized that, I stepped away from it for awhile. Kinda hurt to put Matilda aside, but part of me knew it wasn't forever."

Cindi nods along as she listens. "Yeah... I can see that. Just not doing it for a bit, might give perspective?" She frowns slightly, realizing that that might become an issue for several reasons, not just because of Akari, but because of herself as well.

Matilda nods, "If all else fails, a bit of distance from it can probably help." She glances over at the doe-dragon who is shyly (but still actively) engaging with some other folks, "Having someone to share these feelings with helps a ton too. You're sorta a rarity to join up with a suiting partner."

Cindi glances at Akari, momentarily distracted from her current line of thought. "Would you believe that before fur happened, we were just friends?"

Matilda giggles, "And now you're more than that, hm? You two definitely make a cute couple."

Cindi blushes: "That's all her. I'm just the other one." She pauses, before continuing: "... I could try to claim that, but I don't really have it in me. I'm pretty cute too."

Matilda nods, "It's a hard thing to deny in this group." She pauses to consider the room, then points at the heavy metal panda, "Except maybe for Panzer."

Cindi blinks, then giggles: "Aww, but that look is so cool too." She hums: "With the power of hindsight, I kinda wish I'd have designed Cindi a bit more 'metal', come to think of it."

Matilda grins, "Never too late. I know a few people here have modified their looks. If you're careful, you can modify the suits without issue, if it's nothing too extreme. And really, cosmetic changes like that? Have you tried doing make-up or anything while in fur?"

Cindi blinks. "... I haven't. Is that even possible? With the fur and all?"

Matilda shrugs, "Mileage may vary. But yeah, it's possible. Maybe it's more akin to 'painting' for some, but my point is that you can style yourself up in fur, and as you sorta internalize those looks... if your picture of Cindi changes, those little changes just 'happen'. Bigger stuff is a lot harder, though."

Cindi nods, her crafting mind racing already. She looks about the room: "... I'm sure there are others who have experience with this. Since... Modifying one's fursuit over time is often a thing to do... Hmm..." She lifts a paw to her chin: "Something to poke at, for certain."

Her tail giving a slight wag speaks volumes of her enthusiasm about the topic, though.

Matilda giggles, "It's sorta crazy, but all I can do is shrug and say it's magic."

Cindi blinks, then breaks into a giggle: "Funny how that statement has just become a fact of life, isn't it. Magic is real and we're living in it."

Matilda hums, putting the last of the pear into her mouth and pulling out the core. "Magic is real, and you're standing in a room of living proof. I try not to think on what else that means, though."

Cindi laughs softly: "Perhaps better not to. I have my paws full trying to rebalance my own life with a lot more hair and curves in it than before."

Matilda nods, "That part... well, showers feel pretty good on the hair. The curves feel pretty nice too, I think, but that's me."

Cindi nods, blushing slightly. "The showers feel really good, that much I just have to agree with. You know... That feeling where you've washed and cleaned all your fur and it slightly stands up, but feels incredibly smooth and glistens a bit..." She stops herself, grinning sheepishly.

Matilda grins, leaning in as if sharing a secret, "Have you tried brushing it yet?"

Cindi pauses: "Not... Much... I really should, shouldn't I."

Matilda shifts back, "Highly recommend it. Especially right after a shower."

Cindi smiles. "So much to learn and try... This really is a second life in some regards."

Matilda chuckles, "Don't know if it'll make you feel better or worse, but I'm still learning too. I think we all are."

Cindi considers, her mind wandering elsewhere: "Say, that reminds me... Our community, such as it is... It's not all that old, is it?"

Matilda shakes her head, "Only a little over a decade old, yeah. I don't think anyone in this specific group has been in fur longer than eight years?"

Cindi hums. "Weird. But I guess that's just how it is, by whatever caused this in the first place."

Matilda sits back to think, "There's a channel in the group that talks about that a little bit... like, where did this start? Why did it start? I kinda follow the talk there, and it's funny that no one person can find who 'started' this."

Cindi shrugs: "Probably above my pay grade, that. But I'll have to check the conversation out, once I get the more immediate stuff about this sorted out."

Matilda chuckles, "Wise. That's a deep rabbit hole to run down. I like reading what people find but I'm not that invested in it. But yeah, figure yourself out first."

Cindi laughs softly. "Plenty to figure out where I stand with this, with my furself, without trying to also solve bigger mysteries like that."

Matilda: "Oh, there's plenty of people trying to figure that out without our help." She rotates her ears as she glances about the room, "I just keep my concerns on my friends locally."

Cindi smiles. "That is a goal I can agree on. One thing at a time." She gives Akari a wistful look without really noticing she's doing it.

Matilda notices the look, and politely glances away from Cindi, a small smirk creeping up the corner of her mouth. "One thing at a time, Cindi. I think you'll be fine."

Cindi turns back to Matilda. "I hope so. But thank you, anyway."

Matilda gives another dramatic bow, her wing held like a cape, "Anytime. You and your friend going to join us for karaoke tonight?"

Cindi blinks: "Karaoke?" She grins: "Heck yeah we will~."

Matilda grins back, "It's worth it just to see whatever Panzer comes up with, trust me."

Cindi laughs: "It's a deal, then. We'll be there." Another glance at Akari.

Matilda chuckles, "You need to go check on her? Probably would be best. Besides, I am eyeing that fruit bowl and it's a little embarrassing when I really dig in."

Cindi smirks. "Yeah... see you later. All weekend to go, and all that." She gives Matilda another smile, before turning to go to find her girlfriend, tail wagging and winglets lightly buzzing as she goes.

Matilda gives a little wave, though Cindi likely doesn't notice it as the puppy-moth practically floats across the room.

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