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Later that Evening.
Nithya reads her few pages of notes for the seventeenth or eighteenth time, then sighs and leans back as she's sitting next to the campfire. The doe has been alternating between studious and a bit antsy, knowing that them being able to set foot anywhere kind of rests on her. They figured out pretty quickly that whatever gift Nithya was given with the language, it wasn't extended to Clay - only the black-maned spotted doe is able to read the stone tablets. Which she makes a mental note to return downstairs before they leave.
Making notes was also made harder by having one less, and notably thicker fingers than she had just this morning. Basically relearning how to write. Thankfully she's at least writing notes for herself and Clay, and her friend has plenty of experience of making sense out of her chicken scratches.
Once she's certain, she finally calls out, not that Clay is that far. "I think I have it for sure, now. We have a way to change our form back to what it was before all this."
Clay perks up from where she... grrr... is sitting next to his backpack. He's spent some time unpacking and testing out clothing to see what is practical to wear, and the sad fact is that out of his wardrobe... not much.
The boots are a definite 'no', and most of the pants and boxers are way too loose now. The shirts, on the other hand, are now too tight, having to account for his added 'assets' in the front of his chest, which while not 'massive', are still large enough to strain the shirts, especially without any kind of support.
He lets out a long sigh before his pivoting to hear Nithya. He steps over closer to where she's been working and sits besides her, "Now, that's some good news that I need. At least, I hope it's good news."
Nithya nods, giving Clay a smile. "The ritual to change back takes mostly focus. We... need to be in the forest, and have a fire to look at as we concentrate, but that's as far as material needs go. Rest... is up to us to make it happen, it seems." She hums happily: "Mm-hmm. Maybe this deal isn't as bad as we thought, after all."
The black-haired doe seems to be otherwise holding up fine. Focusing on deciphering an ancient text has always been a relaxation exercise for Nithya, so she hasn't been all that concentrated on her current body situation.
Maybe now that there is an end in sight, she can look at things without it freaking her out. She has kind of pushed her emotions to the background until a solution presents itself...
Clay laughs, relief flooding his face, "Oh, wow... That's all? Not to jinx it, but... That does seem convenient. We're practically set up for it already."
Nithya: "For all the inconvenience this has been..." Nithya hesitates as she forms her thoughts, right ear flicking a few times. "... I don't think she actually intended to harm us, after we came back and agreed."
"... Guess the question is, when do we want to try?"
Clay closes his eyes and snorts lightly, "I know there wasn't any intended harm, not anymore... and we agreed to keep these forms, but I just... I need to know that I can change back." He swallows, "I... I'll be a lot more comfortable knowing I can be in my own skin, so to speak. I'd be willing to try first. It's not like screwing it up could make things worse, I imagine."
Nithya nods. She looks at their currently small campfire. "We're going to need more firewood." She starts getting up, tail flicking a bit as she considers what she herself wants to do.
The answer should be obvious, try to turn back immediately, but...
Clay twitches, ears flicking anxiously, an eagerness to try and do this, but eventually he nods, "Then... maybe tomorrow... as eager as I am, we can sleep on it, gather more firewood tomorrow, and... move ahead with it."
Nithya nods slowly. "Y-yeah. Let's sleep on it." She blinks as a thought occurs to her. "... Might actually be a really good idea. Because those ancient writers likely had no idea about stress hormones. A-and I'm pretty sure all this-" She gestures at them: "Is making us create more than a bit. Magical change or not, I'm not sure it's healthy to constantly induce that."
Clay sighs, glancing down at himself, his very feminine body being a very, very stressful experience over the course of the day. "I... you're not wrong. I've been a wreck all day... the past few days... but maybe knowing there's an ending in sight will help me relax a little."
Nithya nods with a soft smile: "Hopefully so. I can't even imagine... Well, I can easily imagine half of what you're going through, I suppose." She shakes her head slightly: "But yes. Let's try to relax before we do an attempt." She picks up some of the blueberries she picked up earlier and starts munching.
Clay settles down, taking a handful of blueberries as well, "Oh nice find! I don't think I've ever tasted blueberries so fresh." He snacks on a few, thinking a moment. "I admit... putting it practically, this form is much better suited for our hiking expeditions. It wouldn't be so bad to use like this, when we're out in the wilderness." He reaches down to his breast, feeling it's strange weight in his hand, "I... still can't get my head around this part though."
Nithya looks at Clay, tilting her head a bit. "I mean, scientifically speaking it's just...we're just talking about some enhanced glands." She glances down at her exposed teats that are not that pronounced but they're certainly going to be visible if she ever wears a swimsuit or something. "... Of which we both got more. That part is genuinely a bit baffling, I admit."
Clay chuckles, releasing his boob, "Maybe she's a pervert..."
Nithya chuckles: "Maybe. Lot of old goddesses are of the fertility dep... okay I'm so not going to continue that train of thought!"
She coughs loudly. "Hooves. Much better topic. You are right, we could make much faster trip back to Petropavlovsk if we use what we have been, er, gifted."
Clay shudders at that line of thought as well. "Y-yeah... hooves. ...Do... we wait until we're closer to town to try and change back? I... know what I said about wanting to do it right away, but..."
Nithya tries to not look too relieved, and then instantly berates herself for even thinking of that. Of course she wants to change back just as much as Clay!
... Right?
"It might be the logical option. Give our bodies time to settle, er, into this, and get us out of here that much quicker."
Clay sighs, "Expedience over preference might have to win out... we've been out here a lot longer than we planned, and as crazy as it sounds, we can make up a lot of time. But, I also don't know if I really feel alright about letting things 'settle' into this form. I... I don't know if I want to get used to these feelings."
Nithya nods. "Me neither. I just feel like... Not using energy to fight it when it didn't exactly work before." Lies. Absolute and blatant lies, but it's better than admitting she wants to stay in this form for a bit longer. Which she doesn't. Obviously.
"We'll get you your manliness back soon enough, I'm sure of it."
Clay laughs, a little too much at not the right moment for it, "Hah, yeah. Yeah..."
He tries to pivot the topic away from that line of thinking too, but isn't entirely sure why, "I... I don't think I have any energy left to fight it anyways. I exhausted everything I had getting to this point, and doing the ritual... I feel so... just, tired. Not like I need to sleep, but..." She puts a hand to her chest, "Like in here... you know?"
Nithya nods. "Yeah. Like... For two seconds you just want nothing to happen, or change, or confuse us further."
Clay nods with a chuckle. "Would be a nice change of pace. Is that what you mean by... letting our bodies settle? That makes more sense to me, I guess... I'm just so tired of having to tell myself that this isn't me."
Nithya nods: "Just... Not upsetting what makes us, us, further than we have to. I just fear what might happen if we push too far." She considers Clay for a moment: "Though admittedly your case is trickier. I don't have a good answer there."
Clay considers himself as well, wiggling his feet as best he can with the hooves, his eyes move up his body. "I... yeah. I just keep having to tell myself I'm male. I keep having to correct those thoughts in my head. It's so much more than even those things I might say are because of the changes into a deer."
"I can say, 'I'm only thinking about a certain scent because of being a deer'. But... what about these changes because of being female? It's harder to know where those start and end... other than the obvious bits, I mean."
Nithya nods, considering. "Well, the scientist in me says we could start by comparing notes, but I'll let you decide when you want to do that."
She leans on her hand: "On the deer side of things, I'm certainly no biologist, but I suspect after this my mind won't let me be until I read up on my knowledge of cervines, you know?"
Clay hums, looking towards Nithya, focusing on that instead of those thoughts of her... His feminity. "...well on the topic of deer and comparing notes. We're clearly not the same species. There's certainly enough differences between us to point to that."
Nithya blinks, then lifts her head enough look at both of their bodies, the patterns on their sides. "Huh. You're right on that." She looks at her tail, then at Clay's: "I don't think either of us is a whitetail, though. And that's sadly about the extent of my knowledge."
Clay: "Same, sadly." Clay glances back at her tail, wiggling it. "...it... Feels so weird to do that."
Nithya does the same in mirror, and can't quite stop herself from smiling at the feeling of it. "Weird, but it feels... Pretty nice, actually. Having a tail." She considers: "Mine is rather bigger than yours. I didn't know any deer had such long tails... Assuming our forms are those of existing deer. Hmm."
Clay quickly stops upon hearing Nithya describe the feeling as 'nice'. "M-maybe enough testing of that. But... A good point. It's not like our deer goddess has to play by the rules of known biology when she can do... well, all of this to us."
Nithya shrugs. "Yeah. Who knows."
She is quiet for a moment, and before she realizes it she's brought up a bit of cud for a second round of chewing. As she does, she blinks and quickly swallows it. "Gah. That's so weird. But it's I guess how all that works now. Deer are ruminants."
Clay 's face pales, "Nithya... Are we already going too far? Maybe we should just do the ritual now, as soon as possible. I... I feel so divided on this."
Nithya hums, looking at Clay, then shrugs. "I don't know. What is too far?"
Clay blinks, actually blindsided by that question for a moment, "We... We can't lose ourselves. We can't start to enjoy this, Nithya."
Nithya pauses, then swallows. "I'm not... I still want to change back, Clay. I do. This is just..." She trails off, not actually having a good explanation for her having genuinely enjoyed some parts of this weirdness.
Clay frowns, "You are, Nithya... it's... it's one thing to have a scientific curiosity, but it's... beyond that. It worries me." He sighs, putting a hand to his head, "Trust me, I feel the same, but that is why I keep fighting it. I can't just stop and let myself enjoy being-" He cuts himself off, stopping himself from saying something and changing it to "-b-being 'this'."
Nithya winces and seems to shrink a bit. "I-I'm sorry. I will try... Try to be better." The doe's ears go down and she looks aside. "I can... I can do that. You are right, we can't just accept and enjoy this, it's dangerous."
'But isn't this new form being better?', she asks herself. 'No!'
Clay lets out a long sigh, "...I'm sorry... but... I'm just trying to keep myself... me. And I can't lose you either."
In truth, she- he's still struggling with everything, but foremost of all is that same dangerous thought, 'I can't enjoy being female... It's not me. I'm male... I have to remember that...'
He looks up at Nithya again and smiles sadly, sounding more a good deal more tired, "Let's sleep it, like we agreed. We can decide on something in the morning, alright?"
Nithya looks a bit shaken, but it's unclear if it is because of Clay's outburst... Or because he was very on spot calling her out. She takes a deep breath before she dares to look back up. "Y-yeah. We do make better decisions after we wake up."
Clay sets to work to put out the fire and prepare for some rest, trying his best to block out those further intrusive thoughts that keep asking him why he's fighting so hard...
Nithya likewise tries to get herself to her sleeping bag and to just get to sleep, trying to block any ideas that lead to her actually liking any of this. Which is incredibly difficult when her body, all over, feels so incredibly good right now, in a way she has never felt being outdoors.
"Good night."
Clay curls up into her sleeping bag as well, feeling like garbage for some reason he can't quite put his finger on. "...Good night."
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